The Abyss

Recently, a friend sent me an email that said, 'I have signed us up for this class called Intimacy After Cancer'.  I didn't really think anything beyond the e-mail.  She reminded us of the class and I showed up.  I had no idea what was in store for me.

Growing up, I went to a private, Christian school.  I don't remember ever attending a health class.  I find myself more often than not confused when it comes to the human body especially the female body.  A lot of times, I get really weirded out by things and embarrassed almost.  I also block out a lot of what is said.  A lot of times that has to do with me not understanding what is being said.  Because of this, I usually try and have JJ or his mom with me at almost all of my appointments.  Cancer has changed a lot of things about me.  One major thing...because I was thrust into menopause, my sex drive has been affected.  I know...I know...TMI.  And I am in no way shape or form comfortable talking about sex...with anyone.  In an effort to help us out, my doctor referred me to a Pelvic Floor Specialist.  I wasn't really sure what a Pelvic Floor Specialist was...or is...but I have heard lots of great things about her...so I was excited to give it a try.  Mostly what I have heard is that "she does wonders" but I still wasn't really sure what that meant.  At any rate, I had heard she would be one of the presenters at this Intimacy After Cancer thing.  And I was intrigued to learn more about her and her practice. 

As we were sitting there waiting for people to arrive, a woman walked in and sat a few boxes near me.  I couldn't help but look to try and figure out what they were.  I noticed the boxes said...Dilators.  I was recently told what a dilator was...it is the medical form of a vibrator.  My facial expressions hold true to my inner reaction...to which I thought...OMGEE...is there gonna be a demonstration?...what in the world have you girls gotten me into?  As that was going on, one of the presenters had started talking.  I wasn't really looking at her, but her voice was so familiar.  Not a good familiar.  I kept thinking where do I know that voice?  OK, then it hit me...this lady (who is a sex therapist) sounds JUST LIKE Abby Lee Miller from Dance Moms.

Yikes!!  I couldn't talk to her if I tried...especially about sex.

Well, then the power point begins...presented by...yes, the Pelvic Floor Specialist.  I was NOT mentally prepared for anything I saw or heard. 

We saw things and heard words/explanations similar to:

I took notes on things I didn't understand.  When I was explaining everything to JJ, I used phrases like VAGINAL ABYSS.

It was fabulous entertainment for those around me and for JJ when I got home and told him all about it.  Especially when a picture similar to the one below came on the screen.  All I kept thinking...'she does wonders'.  I almost had an anxiety attack.

 Let's just say, I now know the function of a Pelvic Floor Specialist.  Stay tuned for a report on my first Pelvic Floor Specialist appointment...which I just received the reminder call that it is tomorrow at 4:00.