I know you are all interested in hearing about the climb. So, silly me...I forgot my journal here at home. What I will write is what I remember. I will try and remember each day as it was. As some of you are aware, my reasoning for this climb was to cleanse my soul. I wanted to raise awareness of ovarian cancer but I also needed to let 'cancer' go...something I hadn't done. I know that doesn't make sense to most of you. But since I was diagnosed, I wanted to be the 'strong' person. I didn't want anyone to pity me. I didn't want to be 'that girl with cancer'. So I never allowed myself to really 'feel' anything. I just put on my brave face and did what I had to do. I knew I needed to let go. Someone told me that when the time was right, I would face it...I would cry and let the emotional baggage loose. I was really hoping this climb would help me do it...release everything I had held in for 2 years.
First of all, I did not get a glimpse of Mt Kilimanjaro until our first day of hiking. I think this is a good thing. I approached this climb as I did chemo...one day (step) at a time. I didn't want to psyche myself out. Starting the climb, I didn't quite know what to think. I was nervous. Will I make it? What if I don't? What will keep me from it? These questions plagued my thoughts with each step that I took.
We started the 1st day of our climb by eating a wholesome breakfast (hotdogs, baked beans, fried potatoes, eggs, fruit, some sort of pancake with no syrup, homemade bread, jam, coffee, juice, etc) at the hotel followed by checking out of the hotel, loading into a shuttle and driving a few hours to the base of our trail. There are many different trails that lead to Kilimanjaro and I think all are tough in their own way. The route we took was known as the Rongai route. I can remember being in the shuttle so excited...so nervous. We arrived and had to sign in. When we started, I fell behind everyone else. Something I have learned to deal with...I do everything a little slower than I used to. I try not to use that as an excuse, but I also have to remember my body has been through a lot and it takes time to recover. But also, I have read a lot on this climb and have been told to go slowly. So I am not taking any chances. Pole Pole (means slowly, slowly in Swahili). We started off in the Pine Forest.
From the Pine Forest, we move on into the Rain Forest. As I am walking, a guide slows down and walks with me. His name was Rama. I tried word associations to remember the language and pronunciations. With him, I thought of a tomato. He was so sweet and sincere. He spoke very good English too. We talked about religion. We talked about life. Now, a bit of a surprise...Rama loves classical country...OMG, I do too. So if you can imagine this...here we are walking through the African Rain Forest on our way to climb Mt Kilimanjaro singing old country songs.
He had a real passion for Kenny Rogers and Dolly Pardon...yes we sang loud and proud:)!
He was also teaching me the Kilimanjaro song. I will post a video or the words further into the story. We then caught up to the group who were all taking pictures of Colobus Monkeys in the rain forest...I caught the tail end of it and ended up with not one good picture. They were so beautiful but it is a picture etched in my mind. So we continue on our walk. It was at this time too that the guides were trying to figure out why I was walking so slow. I thought "well hell, y'all said Pole Pole". But also apparently, I had packed all but the kitchen sink in my day pack. I mean, it was my first time on the trails to Kilimanjaro. Please don't forget I don't hike, I don't camp....therefore, I don't know. So, Rama takes on the task of carrying my pack. Oops. So we continue the hike through the African Rain Forest...doesn't that sound awesome? I think so. There was something so magical about it.
The above picture shows some of the peeps from our group: We had Mickey and Lisa, Arinn and Benjy, Tasha, Kraig, Scott, Karey, Macon, plus guides and porters and assistant guides.
As we continue on the trail, it gets a little steeper. But Rama and I sang songs and took small breaks (so I could catch my breathe). We end Day 1 at our 1st camp. JJ, Rama and I arrived about 30 minutes behind the group, but I didn't mind...Pole Pole. It was exciting...everything was already set up as far as our tents. And the sun was setting on Kilimanjaro. You look around and try to take everything in. Fresh, hot water is brought to us for washing up. I had so much stuff packed for keeping clean and smelling nice while out on the trails. One thing I learned is that no matter how nice and neat and organized you try to make things, you can't ever find what you need when you are in a cramped space...ie a tent. So, we are trying to wash our hands and arms, etc for dinner. Whew, who knew you could get so dirty from hiking a few hours. So dinner was ready and I remember thinking "WOW! This is dinner? I may not lose that weight after all." It was like a 3 course meal that started with soup. All I can really remember is that it seemed like the food just kept coming in and it was delicious. After dinner, we were given our instructions for the next day. Things like what time to wake up and basically how the day would play out as far as our hike and where we would end up...what time, etc. I went to the tent to try and prepare our things for the next day while JJ stayed up with a few others in the group.
Let me also not forget to mention the bathrooms. Yes we had bathrooms. They were wooden boxes with a hole in the floor. By the end of the week, it surprised me how great I got at squatting while holding my nose while unraveling toilet paper so it did not touch anything while sometimes even holding a flash light all the while holding my pants so they remained clean. Good times!
Check back tomorrow for more on the Teal Diva climb to Kilimanjaro.
DAY 2
And so we begin Day 2. We wake up to a beautiful day!!! We are all still so excited. So let me also start by saying that we were told if there was any wildlife on the mountain (which is highly unlikely), it would be an elephant or water buffalo looking for food. During the night, I needed to go to the bathroom and I made JJ go with me because I heard something outside our tent and I totally thought it was an elephant or Water Buffalo. It is amazing what your mind can do...I probably heard the wind blow and somehow associated that with giant footsteps.
Breakfast was just as amazing as dinner. Hotdogs, Western Omelet, porage, probably some fried potatoes of some sort, homemade toast, peanut butter, jam, hot tea, coffee, etc. I was not and never will be a porage eater. I determined this at the hotel. JJ says porage is like oatmeal. This was pureed and like a brown color. When I tried it the first (and only) time, I was told to add honey or sugar and it would taste better...I don't know if that is true. The feelings I had...nothing could make that taste any better. Now that is my personal opinion. Mikey (JJ) ate it almost every time it was served.
We also woke up to a beautiful view of the mountain. There were all sorts of hot air balloons too. We weren't really sure what they were doing because the air is so thin in relation to where they were. Someone said they thought they were photo balloons...I don't know.
Now I wish I had amazing stories to share about the group, but I REALLY was behind the entire trip. It was almost as if I had a private guide. I saw everyone in the morning and when we got to the next camp. I just didn't want you to think I was leaving anyone out of my stories.
We are like little ants marching...
It's pretty amazing how fast the clouds move in. Apparently the clouds are created from the moisture from the Rain Forest. They can completely hide a mountain within minutes.
Today, my guide was Flora. He is quiet. He has a beautiful smile. So as our day went on, I was out of breathe...shocker. I was sweating. But I turn around and look at Flora and he is walking with his arms crossed not even breaking a sweat. Flora was a little bit harder to get to open up than Rama. But I eventually broke him down and before you know it...he was helping me learn the Kilimanjaro song (again, I will post that on further into the story).
So we consistently stay about 30 minutes behind the group, thanks to yours truly. We can see in the distance the porters and other hikers. I think it is pretty important to mention our porters. These guys carry all of our luggage from one camp to the next...on their heads. They set everything up for our arrival and tear everything down. They buzz by us like it's no big deal on the trails.
Here is the trail we are following today. It's a lot more dusty today. Look at the brush by the trail and you can see the dust.
Because we (I) are walking so slow, we don't take many breaks. We try to constantly catch up with the others. We have been told water is the mountain medicine. So I have tried to remember that and drink lots. Today, I have run out of water...I drank about 2 liters. Huge shocker because I don't typically drink that much water. With the group being about 30 minutes ahead of us, Flora radios them and they leave water for us. The one thing I remember him saying was "EdooEdooEdoo". I don't know what it means but I liked repeating it. I later found out it was the guys name on the other end of the radio, Eddie/Edwin and this was Flora's nickname for him. Anyway, Edoo-Edoo tells him he will leave a sign as to where the water is. It's pretty amazing how you can communicate through nature. All throughout our hike, we found different markers where people had made signs for others. Here was our sign for the water. It is a trail of branches...
We end up taking a photo opportunity at a cave. Apparently, people would sleep in these caves prior to having tents. Flora was kind enough to take some pictures of us. I was a little reluctant to go into the cave in fear of bats. Now, people had told us there was no need to worry about wildlife while on the mountain...I just found this hard to believe being that we were in Africa...but they were right, we never saw really anything...ON THE MOUNTAIN.
Peek-a-boo
In case you are wondering what we have around our legs...they are called gaiters and they help keep your pants clean and help keep rocks out of your shoes, etc. So we end our day at another camp. Today we are tired. We are dusty and dirty and we have gained a lot in altitude. We had a fantastic lunch and dinner prepared for us.
DAY 3
We wake up on day 3 to frost on our tents and ground. It was chilly too. We had breakfast and I am starting to see a trend here...hotdogs, scrambled eggs, porage, homemade toast, peanut butter, jam, coffee, hot tea. We had a great view of Kilimanjaro. Absolutely gorgeous view. We are above the clouds. It is really kind of crazy to look out and see only clouds...nothing else below you.
The green tent in the photo below on the far left side of the picture was where we ate our meals. And take a moment to find the tall tent kind of in the back right corner accompanied with the wooden out house. Yep...the bathrooms. Our tent was the light green one in front of the bathroom. Let's have a moment of silence...
The ice caps on top of this mountain are 5 stories high. Just to put into perspective how far away we still are but also we will be summiting this thing the following night.
So we took the opportunity of this beautiful morning to film a little bit about why we were all here. Lisa talked about her mom who had passed away of ovarian cancer the previous year and raising awareness of ovarian cancer through The Ovarian Cancer National Alliance. I talked a little about Teal Diva. We also sang a little of the Kilimanjaro song...OK I will let you in on the words of the song:
JAMBO. JAMBO BWANA. HABARI GANI. MZURI. SANA WAGENI. MWAKARIBISHWA. KIILMANJARO. HAKUNA MATATA.
Once we started hiking, I actually lead the group for a few minutes. But at one point, they all passed right on by. And I quickly brought up the rear once again. It's OK, I know my role. So as we are hiking we are in the Moreland. We have been for the better part of day 2 and now day 3. The clouds come in so thick and hide the mountains like you wouldn't believe. Flora is now our guide daily. Today Eddie/Edwin (Edoo-Edoo) is hanging out with us too. He is one of the main guides. Flora is probably thankful he gets to talk to someone other than me:)!
JAMBO. JAMBO BWANA. HABARI GANI. MZURI. SANA WAGENI. MWAKARIBISHWA. KIILMANJARO. HAKUNA MATATA.
Once we started hiking, I actually lead the group for a few minutes. But at one point, they all passed right on by. And I quickly brought up the rear once again. It's OK, I know my role. So as we are hiking we are in the Moreland. We have been for the better part of day 2 and now day 3. The clouds come in so thick and hide the mountains like you wouldn't believe. Flora is now our guide daily. Today Eddie/Edwin (Edoo-Edoo) is hanging out with us too. He is one of the main guides. Flora is probably thankful he gets to talk to someone other than me:)!
Here are a few things on the trail today...
These are called Paper Flowers...I think.
The trails are really dusty.
This is just our view as we are walking and looking around.
As we continue to climb, breathing is getting more difficult. Kilimanjaro continues to be on our right and I can't help but think...will I make it up this thing. It's almost like she is teasing me. There were times I walked alone and had a lot of time to think. I kept thinking about Kelly, Lydia, Sharon, Pamela, Patsy, Erica, Ruth, Trap, Becky and all of the other survivors and people who had passed on. Sometimes I don't know what I thought...I just looked around and took it all in.
Our first look at our next camp. As I said, porters have passed us and already
set everything up so that by the time we arrive, we just rest.
Just before getting to camp, I remember my hands literally feeling like they were on fire. I had already applied sunscreen twice. I was putting on 50 SPF but it felt like I had lathered my skin with baby oil. I looked down and saw how red my arms and hands were. So when we arrived at camp, I went looking for something to soothe the burn. Out of all the first aide stuff...nothing for a burn...no aloe...nothing. I found these things I had been using for cleaning my body and they had aloe in them and so I took one out and just put them on my hands. I remember laying in the tent and feeling like the sun was coming right through. After a short nap, we took pictures of this old water buffalo skull we found. Today, I drank about 3 liters of water...holy smokes.
Do we look tan? We're not...that's dirt.
The following two pictures are of the clouds. Unbelievable.
We also took this time to film a little bit for our documentary. I got pretty emotional thanking people and thinking of people. We are all tired. The food is making everyone gassy and a tent is no place to be if you are gassy. Camping went from being fun on Day 1 to being obnoxious on Day 3. The food is starting to blend together a little bit. For me at least...everything has different names but it all tastes the same. It's getting colder at nights and so we sleep with more and more clothing on. The dirt is getting harder to get off and I never thought I would give up on trying to keep my hands clean. You could use sanitation cleanser, wipes, hot water...whatever...your hands aren't getting clean. And it's not just your hands...its everything. On a brighter note, everyone is being silly too.
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Before moving on with the story, I thought this might interest most of you. I found this on the web and thought it might answer a lot of questions about our altitude gain in addition to what we hiked each day, etc. I wish I would have found this prior to posting anything...I would have really looked like I knew what was going on. haha.
As the story continues, refer back to this if needed.
Starting Point: Nalemoru (about 1950 m/6400 ft)
Duration: 6 days
Day 1 - Nalemoru (1950 m/6400 ft) - First Cave Campsite (2650 m/8700 ft)
Walking distance: 6.5 km/4 miles
Walking time: 3-4 hours
Altitude gain: 700 m/2300 ft
Day 2 - First Cave Campsite - Kikelewa Caves (3600 m/11810 ft)
Walking distance: 9 km/5.6 miles
Walking time: 6-7 hours
Altitude gain: 950 m/3110 ft
Day 3 - Kikelewa Caves - Mawenzi Tarn (4330 m/14210 ft)
Walking distance: 6 km/3.7 miles
Walking time: 3-4 hours
Altitude gain: 730 m/2400 ft
Afternoon acclimatization walk to about 4500 m/14760 ft
Day 4 - Mawenzi Tarn - Kibo Huts (4700 m/15420 ft)
Walking distance: 9 km/5.6 miles
Walking time: 4-5 hours
Altitude gain: 370 m/1215 ft
Day 5 - Summit attempt via Gilman's Point (5700 m/18700 ft) to Uhuru Peak (5895 m/19340 ft) and descent to Horombo Huts (3700 m/12200 ft)
Walking distance: 5 km/3.1 miles ascent + 15 km/9.3 miles descent
Walking time: 5-6 hrs + 1-2 hours up, 5-6 hours down (the overall walking time may vary from 10 - 16 hours)
Altitude gain: 1000 m/ 3280 ft (Gilman's Point) or 1195 m/3920 ft (Uhuru Peak)
Descent: 2195 m/7200 ft
Day 6 - Horombo Huts - Marangu Gate
Walking distance: 20 km/12.5 miles
Walking time: 5 hours
Descent: 1840 m/6040 ft
As the story continues, refer back to this if needed.
Starting Point: Nalemoru (about 1950 m/6400 ft)
Duration: 6 days
Day 1 - Nalemoru (1950 m/6400 ft) - First Cave Campsite (2650 m/8700 ft)
Walking distance: 6.5 km/4 miles
Walking time: 3-4 hours
Altitude gain: 700 m/2300 ft
Day 2 - First Cave Campsite - Kikelewa Caves (3600 m/11810 ft)
Walking distance: 9 km/5.6 miles
Walking time: 6-7 hours
Altitude gain: 950 m/3110 ft
Day 3 - Kikelewa Caves - Mawenzi Tarn (4330 m/14210 ft)
Walking distance: 6 km/3.7 miles
Walking time: 3-4 hours
Altitude gain: 730 m/2400 ft
Afternoon acclimatization walk to about 4500 m/14760 ft
Day 4 - Mawenzi Tarn - Kibo Huts (4700 m/15420 ft)
Walking distance: 9 km/5.6 miles
Walking time: 4-5 hours
Altitude gain: 370 m/1215 ft
Day 5 - Summit attempt via Gilman's Point (5700 m/18700 ft) to Uhuru Peak (5895 m/19340 ft) and descent to Horombo Huts (3700 m/12200 ft)
Walking distance: 5 km/3.1 miles ascent + 15 km/9.3 miles descent
Walking time: 5-6 hrs + 1-2 hours up, 5-6 hours down (the overall walking time may vary from 10 - 16 hours)
Altitude gain: 1000 m/ 3280 ft (Gilman's Point) or 1195 m/3920 ft (Uhuru Peak)
Descent: 2195 m/7200 ft
Day 6 - Horombo Huts - Marangu Gate
Walking distance: 20 km/12.5 miles
Walking time: 5 hours
Descent: 1840 m/6040 ft
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DAY 4 ~ THE SUMMIT
OK day 4. Beautiful day! I immediately tuck right into being in the rear:)! Today I am wearing long sleeves...partly because it's chilly but mainly for protection from the sun. I am also keeping gloves on my hands. My hands are swollen and burnt and I think I got a little sun poisoning. Lovely. We have a short hike this morning (and by short, I mean a couple of hours) to our next camp which is the Kibo Huts. This is where several trails meet up and everyone will stay prior to summiting. We are following a river bed. It is dry season but during rainy season, I guess a river flows through here.
This picture is another sign left by someone...kind of like a trail marker...similar to the one left for us so we would know where our water was. These were all along the trail.
Messages spelled out in rocks...
Can you see in the photo below all the trail markers? They are along the top of the rocks. Pretty cool.
Below is a picture of our pals...Benjy and Arinn.
The photo below is of Flora (on the right) and Eddie/Edwin (Edoo-Edoo)...on the left. Ladies...Flora is single:)!
The next few are our view along our hike...
a heart.
This picture is another sign left by someone...kind of like a trail marker...similar to the one left for us so we would know where our water was. These were all along the trail.
Messages spelled out in rocks...
Can you see in the photo below all the trail markers? They are along the top of the rocks. Pretty cool.
Below is a picture of our pals...Benjy and Arinn.
The photo below is of Flora (on the right) and Eddie/Edwin (Edoo-Edoo)...on the left. Ladies...Flora is single:)!
The next few are our view along our hike...
a heart.
No one is really feeling the effects of the altitude. A couple of us have had mild headaches. We have been taking Diamox as prescribed and also take aspirin or whatever for headaches. We have all been drinking A LOT of water. Having Nurse Lisa and Nurse Arinn is very helpful as well. We hiked a few hours to Kibo.
When we arrived, I can remember being so tired. But there was also this immediate smell...breathtaking and not in a good way. I asked Flora what the smell was and he said waste:):)! WOW. At this camp there were huts and tents. Some of the routes have huts but the route we took required tents. You had to sign in at this camp which is where I ran into Rama:)! "Hello Diva"...he says.
As I am signing in, Mickey came up to buy a Coke (or was it a beer? I can't remember) and Snickers. My eyes perked up because I hadn't had a coke in days. I am a soft drink feen. After signing in, I found our tent and begged JJ to buy us a Coke. While he was gone, my mouth started salivating. It was one of those moments where I could totally taste the bubblies and syrup...a perfect combination. Oh he just couldn't get back fast enough. So he gets back with one Coke and I think I remember him saying he had bought two...I think he gave the other to Benjy who wasn't feeling 100%. We are pretty high up in altitude. So he popped it open and you know the sound...ahhh, yeah! I took a BIG SWIG...and almost immediately spit it out. STUPID DIAMOX. When taking Diamox, things taste different. It was as if there was no carbonation in the Coke at all...only syrup. GAG. I had forgotten all about that. My moment with my Coke had been ruined. UGH!
OK, well, I mustered up the strength to go to the bathroom. I remember thinking...cool, our tent is near the bathrooms. Oh my goodness! Listen, I really don't know what to say about this. OK, do you ever experience something and think...one day...one day, I may develop some form of Alzheimer's and will forget things in my life. And if this happens, you hope you remember all the good things...but as luck will have it, this will go down as a memory that not even Alzheimer's can erase. And what I am talking about are the bathrooms at this particular camp. It's OK if you think I am being overly dramatic...this is my blog...my story and I will tell it like I want to...a very filtered version of what happened next. FILTERED. So I am waiting in line to go potty. And as the line shortens, I start to smell something. Now, this particular set of bathrooms is not really close to where we entered the camp. So, different smell...different indeed. There were like 4 doors to choose from and I thought "I hope I get the good one". Well, it was my turn and because there was a line I just took a deep breath and went in. O*M*G. I remember trying to focus on all the television shows I had watched about scuba diving...how to exhale slowly so you don't have to breath in...why can't I remember the advice from the various programs? Oh boy, then as I am trying to focus on breathing out, while holding the toilet paper so it remains clean and positioning my pants...I gagged because I could now taste the smell. I had always made fun of JJ for gagging at revolting smells and now it was happening to me. I thought well this is not going to end well. Remember hole in the floor...nothing else to really hold you up other than your two feet. I really could not get out of there fast enough. I ran outside and up the hill before I allowed myself to breath. Ahhhhhhh, fresh air. I don't think I even buttoned or zipped my pants until I got up the hill. Let me say this again...GREAT! Our tent is near the bathrooms. There is another bathroom story that is reserved for me to tell in person...the impact of the magnitude of the situation really comes to life for the audience if told in person. (disclaimer: not for all audiences).
OK, on to lunch. I said before that the food has started to blend together for me. It is getting harder and harder for me to eat. The food is equally as great as it was on Day 1 but my taste buds or my body is just saying no. So I think I just ate a PB&J. We were being briefed on our summit...that was later that evening. We were told JJ and I may need to start an hour earlier than the group because of my slower pace. We would be given final instructions at dinner. For now, go to sleep. So we went to the tent and got everything ready for summit...then we went to sleep for the afternoon. I didn't have a watch so I really relied on the guides to wake us up. I also have no idea what time we layed down or how long we slept.
When we arrived, I can remember being so tired. But there was also this immediate smell...breathtaking and not in a good way. I asked Flora what the smell was and he said waste:):)! WOW. At this camp there were huts and tents. Some of the routes have huts but the route we took required tents. You had to sign in at this camp which is where I ran into Rama:)! "Hello Diva"...he says.
As I am signing in, Mickey came up to buy a Coke (or was it a beer? I can't remember) and Snickers. My eyes perked up because I hadn't had a coke in days. I am a soft drink feen. After signing in, I found our tent and begged JJ to buy us a Coke. While he was gone, my mouth started salivating. It was one of those moments where I could totally taste the bubblies and syrup...a perfect combination. Oh he just couldn't get back fast enough. So he gets back with one Coke and I think I remember him saying he had bought two...I think he gave the other to Benjy who wasn't feeling 100%. We are pretty high up in altitude. So he popped it open and you know the sound...ahhh, yeah! I took a BIG SWIG...and almost immediately spit it out. STUPID DIAMOX. When taking Diamox, things taste different. It was as if there was no carbonation in the Coke at all...only syrup. GAG. I had forgotten all about that. My moment with my Coke had been ruined. UGH!
OK, well, I mustered up the strength to go to the bathroom. I remember thinking...cool, our tent is near the bathrooms. Oh my goodness! Listen, I really don't know what to say about this. OK, do you ever experience something and think...one day...one day, I may develop some form of Alzheimer's and will forget things in my life. And if this happens, you hope you remember all the good things...but as luck will have it, this will go down as a memory that not even Alzheimer's can erase. And what I am talking about are the bathrooms at this particular camp. It's OK if you think I am being overly dramatic...this is my blog...my story and I will tell it like I want to...a very filtered version of what happened next. FILTERED. So I am waiting in line to go potty. And as the line shortens, I start to smell something. Now, this particular set of bathrooms is not really close to where we entered the camp. So, different smell...different indeed. There were like 4 doors to choose from and I thought "I hope I get the good one". Well, it was my turn and because there was a line I just took a deep breath and went in. O*M*G. I remember trying to focus on all the television shows I had watched about scuba diving...how to exhale slowly so you don't have to breath in...why can't I remember the advice from the various programs? Oh boy, then as I am trying to focus on breathing out, while holding the toilet paper so it remains clean and positioning my pants...I gagged because I could now taste the smell. I had always made fun of JJ for gagging at revolting smells and now it was happening to me. I thought well this is not going to end well. Remember hole in the floor...nothing else to really hold you up other than your two feet. I really could not get out of there fast enough. I ran outside and up the hill before I allowed myself to breath. Ahhhhhhh, fresh air. I don't think I even buttoned or zipped my pants until I got up the hill. Let me say this again...GREAT! Our tent is near the bathrooms. There is another bathroom story that is reserved for me to tell in person...the impact of the magnitude of the situation really comes to life for the audience if told in person. (disclaimer: not for all audiences).
OK, on to lunch. I said before that the food has started to blend together for me. It is getting harder and harder for me to eat. The food is equally as great as it was on Day 1 but my taste buds or my body is just saying no. So I think I just ate a PB&J. We were being briefed on our summit...that was later that evening. We were told JJ and I may need to start an hour earlier than the group because of my slower pace. We would be given final instructions at dinner. For now, go to sleep. So we went to the tent and got everything ready for summit...then we went to sleep for the afternoon. I didn't have a watch so I really relied on the guides to wake us up. I also have no idea what time we layed down or how long we slept.
OK, so dinner is ready...I feel like if memory serves me right...we all kind of walked into the dining tent and I think we all had feelings of anticipation...we were all tired...and so I don't think many of us, if any of us, ate. I remember getting our final briefing. Sure enough, JJ and I would be starting 1 hour earlier than everyone else (and by everyone, I mean the entire camp). I think I remember being told we had about 2 hours to 2.5 hours of sleep time (JJ and I). Well, I went back to lay back down. JJ ate a little dinner. I know it seems like we should be pigging out but altitude plays with you a little. We were tired. And your appetite is not what it usually is...or I'll say, mine wasn't.
OK nighty-night.
So JJ of course was fast to sleep. I layed there and layed there. My brain started spinning. Again, I thought of Lydia...I thought of Kelly...I thought of Linda. I thought of the survivors I have met...Kaye, Erica, Patsy, Pamela, Becky, Sue, Carrie, Carey, Trap, Sharon, Ruth...I thought of the moment 2 years ago when I was told I had ovarian cancer. I thought of how hard it must have been for my husband to hear the very same words. And how hard it must of been for him to tell my friends and family and how brave he was to take on that responsibility. I thought of what a coward I was for not being able to do it. It hurts me to know I never allowed myself to 'feel' anything. I thought about JJ and I talking it over...you know, the whole having kids thing...and I remember us thinking we had come to a decision on our own. But later realizing God made that decision for us and thankfully guided our thoughts and feelings. I thought about never being able to bare children. I thought about never being able to 'feel' what it's like to be pregnant...never feeling a kick...or the pain/joy of giving birth. I thought what great parents JJ and I would make but what if we are never ready...would we ever be parents? I remember thinking...are you freaking kidding me right now...God seriously? Now? This hits me now? I have to be well rested and this shit hits me now...So, I thought, well I guess this is meant to be so I just cried it out. Oh how quickly that 2 hours went by. I hear the footsteps and they can only mean one thing. It was Flora. He was coming to wake us. So I have not gotten the extra 2 hours of much needed sleep and I have been crying. So add emotionally exhausted to just plain exhausted. So we get up...and by get up I don't physically mean standing...don't forget, we are in a tent. It's cold. Bring on the layers. Oh and I almost forgot the toe warmers and hand warmers. Dang it, I can't find my base layer of gloves. Oh well, one pair it is. I have our packs light....but I did add flashlights, camera, camcorder and energy foods in addition to our water. We go to the dining tent for cookies or something. I ate an energy bar...something stacked full of protein. Joseph, one of the main guides and Flora were gonna start with us. So...it's time.
We start walking...well, Joseph took my pack before we even began. I guess it's a good thing but it also takes my easy access to my water. We have headlamps on. It's dark. You can see an endless amount of stars. It was almost as if we were in space. Hmmm, stupid toe warmers aren't really working...wth? So we walk...and walk....and walk. As we are walking, I remember asking Joseph a lot of questions. He told me to save my breath. We continuously increase in altitude. We were taking our time...POLE POLE. We took breaks as needed. I kept looking back wondering when the others (by others I mean our group but also the rest of the hikers) would start. It wasn't long before I started to see other headlamps. I wondered how long it would be before they caught up to us. About 2 hours into our hike, Mickey, Lisa, Benjy, Arinn, Macon and the rest of the guides caught up to us. We had already been passed by a handful or so of other hikers. They passed by, we chatted for a minute and I remember Benjy saying he didn't feel that great. But they went on ahead. I thought for a moment we could keep up, but I just couldn't keep the pace...even though they were walking slow too. Someone came back and told JJ he needed to go with the other group. It all happened so fast...what the heck is going on here...they were splitting us up. Joseph stayed with me. JJ was hesitant to leave but I said...hey, we'll meet at Gillman's Peak (that is the 1st summit you come to). So we kissed and parted ways.
I don't remember a lot...I think I zoned out. I remember being COLD...so cold. I had my face covered with this fleece thing but would uncover so I could breath as much fresh air as I could. I thought it might help me acclimate better. Joseph stopped and got my hand warmers out of my pack and opened them for me. Stupid toe warmers were a wash...totally didn't work. Oh my gosh, my feet are so cold. As we increased in altitude the breaks became more frequent...I couldn't breathe. I remember it being so dark. Dark can be scary...because of the unknown. So many people had passed us. But as I looked back...down...I noticed so many more behind us. Some of the headlamps were so far away that they too looked like little stars. Then your mind starts going all over the place. This is where she, Kili, gets you. My feet are so cold...what if I have frostbite? I know that seems extreme but I have never had frostbite. Would I know if I had it? Should I keep going? Is this worth losing toes? I know what you are thinking because I thought the same thing. It was like the Angel on one shoulder and the Devil on the other. Angel saying you can do it and the devil saying you should stop it's not worth it. They both make perfect sense...who do you listen to? I remember just talking to God. I don't really remember what we talked about. But I remembered when I was diagnosed and people telling me they would pray for me...I could literally feel hands on me as if people were actually with me and praying over me. It was an amazing feeling. During this journey...after being separated from JJ...I had Joseph, who spoke some English and God. I Remember feeling very one with God. Some of you don't know that I have been on a quest to discover my own spirituality since being diagnosed. I was raised to believe certain things but have come to appreciate other values and I have really tried to find my own way. Again, we were hiking while taking MANY breaks. I just could not catch my breathe. I felt nausea, I had a headache...a mild one. I took an aspirin. At one point, Joseph started to pull me. I couldn't even muster the strength up to allow him to pull me. I welcomed the break I got when people would pass us on the trail. We stopped at one point and I forced half of a power bar down. I couldn't feel my feet. I remember the face of the guy at REI popping in my head who talked me out of buying the heavy weight socks. I might've wished a bad day on him. I remember wishing for daylight. I prayed for it. I thought if daylight could just come then it would be a sign that we were closer. I had no idea what time it was. I had no idea how far ahead JJ was. I was so exhausted. I remember thinking...I might not make it....I MIGHT NOT MAKE IT. What if I don't make it...WHAT IF I DON'T MAKE IT...would people understand? But then I would think of the doubters...the people who never said it to my face but I knew they thought it...those who thought I would never make it. I wanted more than anything to prove them wrong. Did I actually think I would make it? I wanted to prove to myself I could do it. We took a break and it was still dark. Chemo took so much from me. You don't realize how hard it is to want to do something, know that you can do it, but physically unable to do it. This isn't just with chemo but with any life change or physical change to your body. We were breaking yet again. And I remember Joseph being kind of frustrated but still being so kind. But he told me "I don't think you are going to make it". I asked him how much further it was to the 1st summit and he told me 1 hour and a 1/2. I said: "I can do it! I can find the strength to that" Oh my goodness, we started walking again, and I just cried. This was the 1st person that told me out loud I might not be able to do this. He was so honest. I wasn't mad at him, just sad. I wanted JJ. I wanted my group. I wanted to hear cheers that I could do it. I needed someone to be my cheerleader and push me along. And then it hit me...THIS IS EXACTLY EVERYTHING I FELT GOING THROUGH CHEMOTHERAPY...EVERY BIT. I got through that. What the Hell? Cancer did not take me down. Chemotherapy did not take me down. And this f'in moutain isn't gonna take me down. I don't care if I have to take 100 more breaks...I am gonna make it to the top!!! I am meant to be here. This is my story...every bit of it...sweat and tears...it is my battle. Because I didn't have my cheerleaders and really needed some encouragement...I needed God's help, His mercy, His Strength...I asked Joseph (who was a Christian) to sing or hum gospel songs. And he did. I have no idea what he hummed but I could feel God's presence. I prayed to Him to give me the strength of Lydia...the strength of Kelly...the strength of Linda. I prayed for my girls who had survived cancer...I prayed for their strength. And then it was daylight. And then I stopped with another hiker having trouble and we shared some black tea with honey and lemons. I remember there were 5 of us that kept passing one another...each with our own reasoning...our own story...our own motivation. We talked to one another. We were each other's cheerleaders. And then...the summit was within reach. I was happy...no more tears. I wanted more than ever to see JJ...the thought of it made me cry but with joyful tears. So it's one more BIG step and then we are there. I remember taking the final step with a guy. I said to him...let's finish this...
I know you can't tell by this photo but look for a zigzag trail. You can't even see our camp from here.
I stopped at Gillman's Point (pictured above is JJ, me and Joseph). If cancer taught me anything, it taught me to listen to my body. I mean, 2 years after my surgery, I just did this amazing thing that tested every part of my body...as did chemo. For me...I did it. I summited the mountain I was meant to summit. It wasn't worth doing damage or falling over to exhaustion. I DID IT! Now, at the same time I thought I would totally take all these pictures...but I just didn't. I could not think. I don't know what was going through my head. Just taking it all in...taking in what the hell I just accomplished. I want to apologize to Morphotek and OVA1...I had big plans for all your stuff on top of the mountain...but my mind was taken elsewhere when one of the guys I was climbing with at the end literally almost passed out from exhaustion. We were pumping all these energy chews I had in his mouth and praying he would be OK.
My husband and my friends all made the final trek and all summited the tallest part...Uhuru Peak and on National Teal Day. That made me think...that is what friends and family do. When you are going through a tough time like chemo, they step in and help you out or do things for you that you just can't do. I mean, they did it for themselves too...but you know what I'm saying.
Congrats you guys! Forever friends from this experience. See you all in 2013:):)!!!!!!
DAYS 5 AND 6, COMING DOWN THE MOUNTAIN
victory and rest were short lived. Once we got an ounce of energy back in us, it was time to come down the mountain. I don't think I have ever been so tired in my life...literally exhausted. At one point, my legs fell our from under me. Joseph was holding me up. My hero. Then, the true diva came out in me. I was done. I had a small fit or something (anxiety attack). I just wanted down that mountain and it seemed like the end was so far away. I felt like everyone else was making it down the mountain but I wasn't moving at all. Joseph called for reinforcements. Two very sweet porters helped me the rest of the way down. I put an arm around each of their neck and down we went. I made it to camp. I heard something about lunch but I don't think any of us ate...we were all too tired and we knew we had a long hike ahead of us. My stomach wasn't feeling too well and I think Benjy was done too. I am not sure if anyone ate...well, JJ and Mickey might have:)! I went back to the tent. It was then I noticed I had blisters all over my lips and dry patches on my face. Yuck. I had some sun poisoning on my lips and cheeks and hands. Maybe some wind burn too. I am a mess...but I think others had it too. Anyway, we all tuck in for a brief nap. It was over way too soon!!!
We were awakened and now we have to pack up and move on...a 4-5 hour hike awaits. We have to move on so we can drop in altitude. For those feeling sick, it is the only cure. We take a different route out...Marangu Route.
I feel like Benjy, Arinn, Mickey and Lisa take off as if in a race for their lives. I mean they were gone. I thought...where do they get their energy. I'm sure Flora wanted to tie me up to a motor and flip the switch but I just couldn't do it.
There is not much to tell about our trip to this next camp...we were all very tired and looking forward to arriving so we could sleep. Oh, I remember I got a little hungry on the trip. JJ had gone ahead, so I sent word with Edoo-Edoo for JJ to leave a protein bar on a rock some place. I felt like an hour or so passed and no chocolate bar...so I thought that was a wash. But low and behold, I see JJ waiting on the side of the road. He said Eddie passed him and said your wife needs chocolate...hehe. I thought that was funny. So we took a quick break. Here is a scene just before we arrived at camp and also our first view of camp.
Again, I did not eat. It was freezing cold here...I remember the wind blowing like crazy. It was decided we would wake around 4:30 a.m. to hike back to meet the bus so we would get back to the hotel earlier. I remember waking up and getting everything ready. We start out and Flora is there trying to help us find our way out of the camp. I remember seeing Arinn and Lisa for a second. I looked down to watch my step, looked up and the group was gone. Again, it's JJ, myself and Flora. We tried to catch up but could not see anything. We were wearing headlamps again. So we evened off at our own pace until day light. We didn't really have any water. Flora was carrying my day pack...along with his. We walked and walked and walked. After about 3 or so hours, we made it to another camp. We weren't staying here, but they had bathrooms, food and water. So, we grabbed a Coke and a Snickers. Do you remember the story about the Coke I told earlier...well, here we go again...but this time I had been off Diamox for at least 24 hours...BEST COKE OF MY LIFE!!! I'm not gonna short change Snickers either...BEST ONE I HAVE EVER HAD! Flora took this time to tell us that perhaps we had misunderstood him when he told us his name. He pulls out his business card and tells us the correct pronunciation is Florian or Florence. Bahahahaha...we laughed because he let us call him the wrong name all week and never said a word. Not too long after, Florian tells us that he got word from Macon that if we weren't down at the base when he arrived, the group was gonna leave us...WHAT? So we hurried up and put our waters together. Florian even got a little flustered. We were told we were 45 minutes behind them. So we start walking...almost running. There were times I was running. The Snickers commercials are true...I had some energy from that and the Coke. We walked/ran through the rain forest and made it below the clouds. We did not take time to rest or take pictures...sorry.
But we made it out just 10 minutes behind the group. So we are hanging out together and drinking Kilimanjaro Beer (JJ had an Orange soda), we took pictures and found the Kilimanjaro song on a piece of Kilimanjaro wood. So we bought that, along with a map of Kilimanjaro. Benjy bought some crazy statue he calls Joseph...hehe. It was fun to see everyone again. We had already decided to give Joseph and Florian our walking poles. Benjy gave someone his backpack. I think it is safe to say we aren't doing this again.
We took pictures and then loaded onto the bus. Ahhh finally. Here are a few pictures...
We made a pit stop to enjoy some Banana Beer. I wasn't really looking forward to this because Banana Beer just doesn't seem like it would be good. But we had heard stories about how Banana Beer solves family disputes, etc...so I thought, well...
Somehow, I ended up being the first to try it...and there are no words to describe it...so I'll let the pictures do the talking.
This is Arinn's reaction...
So long Kilimanjaro...HELLO showers!
We were awakened and now we have to pack up and move on...a 4-5 hour hike awaits. We have to move on so we can drop in altitude. For those feeling sick, it is the only cure. We take a different route out...Marangu Route.
I feel like Benjy, Arinn, Mickey and Lisa take off as if in a race for their lives. I mean they were gone. I thought...where do they get their energy. I'm sure Flora wanted to tie me up to a motor and flip the switch but I just couldn't do it.
There is not much to tell about our trip to this next camp...we were all very tired and looking forward to arriving so we could sleep. Oh, I remember I got a little hungry on the trip. JJ had gone ahead, so I sent word with Edoo-Edoo for JJ to leave a protein bar on a rock some place. I felt like an hour or so passed and no chocolate bar...so I thought that was a wash. But low and behold, I see JJ waiting on the side of the road. He said Eddie passed him and said your wife needs chocolate...hehe. I thought that was funny. So we took a quick break. Here is a scene just before we arrived at camp and also our first view of camp.
Still above the clouds.
But we made it out just 10 minutes behind the group. So we are hanging out together and drinking Kilimanjaro Beer (JJ had an Orange soda), we took pictures and found the Kilimanjaro song on a piece of Kilimanjaro wood. So we bought that, along with a map of Kilimanjaro. Benjy bought some crazy statue he calls Joseph...hehe. It was fun to see everyone again. We had already decided to give Joseph and Florian our walking poles. Benjy gave someone his backpack. I think it is safe to say we aren't doing this again.
We took pictures and then loaded onto the bus. Ahhh finally. Here are a few pictures...
We made a pit stop to enjoy some Banana Beer. I wasn't really looking forward to this because Banana Beer just doesn't seem like it would be good. But we had heard stories about how Banana Beer solves family disputes, etc...so I thought, well...
Somehow, I ended up being the first to try it...and there are no words to describe it...so I'll let the pictures do the talking.
This is Arinn's reaction...
And JJ's...
This is an up close look at it...
Joseph liked it.
And then a victory dance with a teal scarf provided by my step mom, Annie.
They are singing the Kilimanjaro song.
So long Kilimanjaro...HELLO showers!
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